An off-duty cop got a little too turnt for Cinco de Mayo. Anne Arundel County police officer Michael Flaig was arrested in Baltimore after he allegedly bit another man's testiclse, WBAL reports. Police say Flaig and another person jumped a man outside a bar after the victim confronted Flaig for touching his female friend. When police arrived Flaig was back inside the bar, clearly wasted with blood stains on his shirt. The other attacker got away and hasn't been identified.
Each detail in this story requires more explanation than the last. How does one get in a position to bite another dude's balls during a fight? What kind of savage sinks his teeth into another dude's nut sack when somehow presented with the opportunity? And how could someone have the tenacity to go back inside the bar like nothing happened after partaking in a BOFA feast? Police didn't say where the blood on Flaig's shirt came from, but it's not unthinkable for it to be testicle blood. Homeboy might've sat in a bar with testicle blood on his shirt like:
"Can I get whiskey on the—what's on my shirt? Oh it's nothing."
Anne Arundel County police released a statement, announcing Flaig is on paid administrative duties following his charges of second-degree assault and public intoxication. "These charges are disturbing and we have an obligation as police officers to conduct ourselves in a professional manner on and off-duty," Chief of Police Timothy J. Altomare said.